Blogging is the new Black

SO the rumors are true, I haven't blogged in weeks! How people do it daily as a hobby is beyond me. I barely have time to floss my teeth. Ok, I lied. I just don't floss unless something is stuck. Don't hate! 85% of people don't floss! I hate when at the dentist and the dreaded question comes "How often do you floss" I want to turn and spit my blood at the assistant and say OBVIOUSLY NOT A LOT IF MY GUMS ARE BLEEDING ACE! Now that I don't have dental insurance at the moment, I have my own personal, after hours dental assistant that doesn't ask me the obvious questions!

Soon enough insurance will be had, until then don't injure me. Thanks.

Favorite Word (of the week): Coin Purse. I was watching Family Guy and it is the episode where Stewie wants to swim faster and Chris suggests to shave. Brian catches Stewie naked and asks him if it would be totally inappropriate to ask him to shave his "Coin Purse"
Yes it is an old one, but it still makes me giggle. For those who don't know.... Get Familiar: Coin Purse* = ball sack, testes, nut sack. So at work this week around my 2 (Male) Fred bosses I've used coin purse on multiple occasions. They didnt catch on until about the 10th time I said it. One Boss and I were sitting in the back office marketing and the other was bringing in wine for Martini Night at the store... I made a reference to massage the coin purse and relax a little just as the Wine Carrier walks in he says "You two need to stop with your ridiculous marketing schemes for giveaways and freebies, here give away the GodDamn microwave and call it a day." And the other owner chimes in and says "Jackie, come on would women really even use a coin purse, how many women do you see at a bar say Oh, Wait let me get my money out of my coin purse." At this point I start dying of laughter and call them both idiots and explain to them the Coin Purse. At which point everyone starts tearing up. Had to be there.

*I had to pull out the asterisk because I was looking on UrbanDictionary.com (My mom's new favorite reference site when I say "gangster girl" talk to her) and Coin Purse's definition is as follows: Term used to describe the male nutsack. AS OPPOSED TO WHAT?!?!?! THE FEMALE NUTSACK!?!?!?! WTF... I love urban dictionary. So Curt and I were in a deep convo (an important one as you will see) and we were arguing the definition of a Cleavland Steamer. We were in the car and I knew my mom was at home so I made her go to google and type it in for clarification. (So she is the genius that discovered Urban Dictionary). So here she is on speaker: Ok Jack, I found it, Sick. Don't make me read it. Ok I'll read it:

When after having engaged in intercourse the male or female lets his/her partner fall asleep. Then he/she takes a crap on his/her chest and run away There were tears in my eyes at this point because she began to gag after the 3rd definition. Hahahaha. I still remember it til this day. So here is my fav. "Urban Dictionary" definition at the moment (also remember they use all terms in a sentence!): 1. Dick Amnesia When a girl ignores all her other friends because she either has a new boyfriend or because her boyfriend is around. Female version of vag amnesia. Jessie's boyfriend came home from school and now she has total dick amnesia. So now I will leave you with an oldie but a goodie.... Representin' the Milwaukee Film Festival! Love and kisses! -Jackson